Differences; spoken or unspoken

The word difference says so much. But how much are our differences spoken about or unspoken?

I am going to speak. If you have differences with me, then go ahead and speak too. If you agree with me, then go ahead and speak too.

As somebody who has been working for and living with the Iona Community for the past few years I think it's only right if I share something from them. The Iona Community response to same sex marriage makes for an interesting read. When I first read these responses I was very proud to be part of this organisation. But it wasn't until a few days later when I read them again that I wondered how many other organisations, especially from a faith-based perspective, would be so strong in making their views known. The world makes it difficult at times to be strongly opinionated. There is a lot of opposition, no matter what the issue. But there is also a lot of support. However, how will you ever know who agrees with you if you aren't willing to share your point of view? Sometimes all it takes is one person to speak out for others to follow suit.

With the Ipsos results just being published and The Equality Network appearing on Sunday Politics show today I have to wonder how many conversations are floating around Scotland about equal marriage. (I am not excluding the consultation in England and Wales in this deliberately, I am just focusing on what I have seen in the news these past day!) I know that many of my friends and people I am connected to do not agree with same sex marriage, and I am not in any way trying to anger you by writing this and being strong in my opinions. I do, however, hope that maybe eyes can be opened even in the slightest. I am not going to ask you to change your opinions and beliefs. I am not going to force you to engage in debate. I am not going to ask you to agree with me. I ask you to treat everyone the same, whether you accept their life or not, because they are still human. Everyone has the right to their opinion and their beliefs and their way of leading their lives. And this is exactly why I agree with same sex marriage. Whether I 'label' myself as bisexual or not, I have had this view point on this matter since I was old enough to understand it.

There is debate as to whether or not allowing same sex marriage will force religious organisations to perform same sex ceremonies, whether they want to or not. There is debate about how the law will be brought in to force to stop this from happening. There is debate around who can and can't perform these marriages. And I agree, these things need to be sorted out, so that nobody should be forced to do anything they don't want to. That is very possible with good wording and enforcement of the law. And in the same way, everyone needs to be able to act how they want around this issue. For the religious organisations who don't want to be a part of this, they can opt to never perform a single same sex marriage, and for those people who want to get married to the person they love, they can opt to do so. Choice. Free choice. If the law allows marriage between two people who love each other then everybody should be happy. Those who want to get married can get married. Those who don't want to get married don't get married. Those who want to marry couples can marry them. Those who don't want to marry couples don't marry them. Tell me what is wrong about that, about free choice.

The other thing that has got me stirred up in to writing this (not only because I have a day with no plans but drinking tea and tidying!) is that my flatmate, my friend, my dad and I watched the film Milk last night. This film follows the life of Harvey Milk, gay activist in the 1970's, through a few years of his life as the first openly gay elected official to the day of his assassination. (The best line from this film, for me: "If it were true that children emulate their teachers, we'd have a lot more nuns running around"!) I think this is a film more people should watch if they want to understand more about gay rights and how this debate all began.

So, here I am, sat at my desk sharing my opinions with you. I know my opinions may be different from yours. But at least I'm speaking out. Are you? Go on, say what you think and maybe even tell the government. I have.

p.s. This isn't the only issue I relate to that I could write about, but it is the one that stands out the most with the public eye watching the parliamentary debates. Refugee and asylum seeker discussion next?

Motivation

mo·ti·va·tion [moh-tuh-vey-shuhn] noun

1. the act or an instance of motivating,  or providing with a reason to act in a certain way: I don't understand what her motivation was for quitting her job. Synonyms: motive, inspiration, inducement, cause, impetus.

2. the state or condition of being motivated: We know that these students have strong motivation to learn.

3. something that motivates;  inducement; incentive: Clearly, the company's long-term motivation is profit.

Motivation - what is it to you?

Above is the dictionary definition of motivation. When in life do we actually go by exactly what the dictionary says, exactly what is prescribed to us, exactly what we were taught as children?

Motivation has been a big part of my life lately. Not because I have been overly motivated, but because I have been lacking in it.

I, Lorna, am a motivated person. I aim for things. I am stretch forward. I set my eyes on a goal and I try to get there.

So, why am I saying I have a lack of motivation?  Because even if I want to aim for things, I want to stretch forward, I set my eyes on a goal.. I don't necesarily motivate myself to do anything about it.  

In about a months time I am running 10km around Edinburgh; up a hill, down a hill and around a loch. My motivation for doing this? My mum. I am raising money for Macmillan in memory of my mum. That's a pretty good motivation I guess. 

But my motivation for training for this run, is, well, somewhat lacking at the moment. You know what I need? Extra motivation. I can only do so much myself. Who would like to sponsor me some money? Who would like to come running with me? Who would like to feed me dinner when I return from a training run? You? Great! Then go to www.justgiving.com/lornabowry or give me a call to arrange a run or a cooking session!

Honestly, it's all it takes... a few quid and a bit of moral support. Please. For me and my sanity. For my mum. For Macmillan. 

22nd March 2012

http://www.blipfoto.com/lornabowry

Memories...

 

Equality

Today is Valentines Day and it took me to Bristo Square in Edinburgh where there was a march for equality... for equal marriage. The march began there and made it's way along George IV bridge, down the Royal Mile and to the Scottish Parliament. When we arrived at the Scottish Parliament building there were a few wee talks by various folks from the organisations supporting the event, including politicians and ministers. There were over 1000 people there and it was nice to see such a range of folks there. Everyone including LGBTQ people, straight people, small children, older folks, dressed up people, first time marchers, experienced campaigners... People from all walks of life coming together to march for equality.

I realise that this issue is a big topic in the world right now, and a lot of folk are likely fed up of hearing about it. So, the sooner it's over the better! But, then again, I realise that this isn't the view of everybody. For me, it being 'over' (in Scotland anyway) is for equal marriage to be passed by the Scottish Parliament (and straight civil partnerships too please), yet for others it being 'over' is quite the opposite. Can we ever really all agree? I'm not so sure. If it were a little issue, maybe we could, but it is a big issue in the world and one in which the majority of people will have their own personal stance on. So, allowing for the fact that not 100% of the population will just agree or disagree, can we compromise? If this law is passed then same sex marriages are legal in Scotland. What about in places of religion? That, for me, is one of the bigger debates. I think that the law should allow same sex marriages to be taken place in places of religion but it is up to each individual demonination/minister etc if they are willing to do this. That way, they don't have to if they don't want to. Nobody can force you in to doing something you don't want to do. I reckon I could have a wee rant about this for quite some time, but as I said it has been shoved in peoples faces enough lately and I just wanted to state my point of view roughly.


Choice. That's what it's all about. Choice of how you live your individual life. Choice of how I live mine. Choice.

There are people in my life who do not agree with this, my view point, and that is (within my friend groups) mainly because of their religious stand point. And, you know what? I'm ok with that! I understand why you take the stance you take, and I am appreciative of your openness to talking about it and embracing the issue. Yes, I have dated both girls and guys. Yes, this may come as a shock to some of you out there, but I am open about this because it is who I am. Yes, I want equal marriage rights. Yes, I love everyone. Yes, I would call myself a Christian.

Iona has taught me a lot over the last couple of years, and one of those things that is very important to me is to stand up for who I am. I am someone who is loved by God no matter what I do. I am someone who can stand firm on my own two feet. I am someone who loves the people in my life more than anything else. I am someone who is introverted and that is ok. I am someone who likes to be in nature because it is what makes sense to me and where I feel most connected to the world. I am who I am, and that is the way I will continue to be.

I am not someone who will push my opinions in your face, certainly not on these big issues, and I am not someone who generally starts up such conversations. But that isn't because I don't want to talk to you about them, it's because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable about anything. So, if this is something you want to talk about, you know where I am.

In the meantime, I am going to continue to support the equal marriage equality movement both here in Scotland and elsewhere in the world, I am going to continue to love every individual person for who they are, I am going to continue to be a Christian and I am going to live, love, laugh and comtemplate.

Blessings to you all xx

Inspiration

I have decided today that everything runs on inspiration. What is inspiration? Well, I don't think it's a word that I could ever fully understand, but I know it changes a lot about my life. At least twice a day this week I have found myself using the words 'inspired', 'inspiration', 'inspirational'. Why? Well, because there are a lot of changes in my life and each one if spurred on by another, or so it feels.

"Don't know what time it is, I've been up for way too long and I'm too tired to sleep"

The Wailin Jennys album and I have become good friends in the last few weeks. Sadly I only own one, and so this will soon have to change. But I have found that a lot of their lyrics just make sense. Life beyond Iona is a funny thing, one I won't understand for a long time. It's exhausting. That's the main thing I've noticed. I knew that I was very tired on Iona, after two years of physical work and mental stress. But I never quite expected to be this exhausted trying to 'recover'. I also knew that it would be difficult to adjust to live outside of community, not being surrounded by people all of the time, not eating with everyone. But, again, I never quite expected it to be this exhausting. I find myself exhausting myself trying to meet up with people because it feels very lonely out here in the real world sometimes, and although that isn't a bad thing, it just takes some time to get used to. My patience runs low, my energy goes away quickly, my enthusiam disappears half way through a task, my ability to write job applications gets smaller, my likelihood of doing the things on my to-do list shrinks, the washing piles up, my emotions can be slightly tapped and they explode... Who warned me of this?! Oh yeah, everyone who has left Iona before me that I know! But, really, did I ever trully believe them? I thought I did. But now I know that I didn't. My, oh my. However, alongside all of this, I feel fine overall and am enjoying being back in Edinburgh!

Anyway, this rant was not what was meant to happen on this blog - it's about inspiration! But, then again, a lot of the above rant is related to inspiration in some ways. The things in life that have kept me going lately have been inspirational... nature, music, friends, lights, singing, bass vibrations, lyrics, sunshine, country driving, re-discovering, guitar, old friendships, excercise, memories, painting, conversations, gardening, diy, cake, concerts, fire, trees, skype chats, motorway driving, graveyards, photography, emails, reading, meals out, feeling alive... etc, etc. What in life is not inspirational? I have no idea. The main thing for me has been music. But to save me writing a bit of an explanation, just look here: http://www.blipfoto.com/entry/1728962  The most amazing, musical related, inspirational moments for me have been at concerts when the music just fits so well that you get a shiver up your spine. I didn't understand that feeling for a long time, but I am so glad that I do now. I think live (especially folk music) will do that for me forever, but lately it has meant more to me than anything. Good ol' Celtic Connections has given me that in the last few weeks, and for that I am very thankful. Thoughts that were previously muddled suddenly made sense.

And the sun, the stars, the trees, the ice, the bogs, the cows, the leaves... nature. I have taken so many pictures lately of nature, nature in many forms. It's everywhere and never looks the same twice. Every time I walk my local walk I see something different, and I love that. Every time I walk my local walk I feel something different, and I love that. Every time I walk my local walk something else in my life suddenly makes more sense or I start to process some other part of life that needs processed.

And now that it is 1.05am and I started with a quite about being too tired to sleep and then a wee rant about being exhausted... I think it is time to stop typing nonsense and go to bed.

World: thank you for being an inspiration.

Friends: thank you for all that you are.

Blog: goodnight.

Power is amazing

"Power is amazing,
wood thrown on stone.
A life under there.
Once it lived,
just like the wood.
But now it's still,
just like the stone.
Life before it,
creating history.
Life above it,
wandering round.
Life after it,
miracles to explore.
What does it mean,
the power of nature?
The comings and goings
of life once so strong.
The stable tree now twigs
On the ground
Surrounding the stone.
The gift of life now
Still underground
Yet so much higher above.
Power is amazing."

A walk to the cemetery on a cold, sunny, wintery day after the strong winds had struck the landscape around... and Lorna writes on her way home.

I can't get it the right way!

I can't get it the right way!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Less than 40 hours ago I was doing that thing that I've always wondered how people do. I was on the CalMac ferry leaving Iona, leaving my home, leaving my friends and my lifelines. But, you know what, it was ok. Even though I have no idea what I am going on to next. Even though I am leaving the place, and more than that, the people I love. Even though I have to make a new life for myself. Even though I don't yet know when I will go back.

Sometimes emotions disappear, and 40 hours ago they did just that - blank. There were tears shed. But not in the way I may have expected, after watching so many people leave on that ferry before me. They were shed mainly because I was being taken away from the most important people in my life. But even that didn't quite feel real enough to really hit home to wherever it is emotions hide inside.

In another 40 hours time, or even 400 hours time, I can bet those emotions will come rushing and hit hard then. My heart feels quite broken after leaving and I know soon it will start to make more sense.

"Sometimes we sorrow, other times embrace,
sometimes we question everything we face;
yet in our yearning is deeper learning:
we belong to God, we belong to God."

And now I am in Edinburgh, adjusting to life in a busy (well, compared to Iona) city, driving in traffic, starting up a house for the first time in my life, living with someone I've never lived with before (though known for years), hunting for a church to feel comfortable in (eventually), applying for jobs and universities and colleges (ah, deadlines), reconnecting with friends, trying to stay in touch with friends around the world (thank you internet), cooking for myself, getting up in the morning with no official things to do each day... etc etc.

From here, I expect emotions and visitors... please.

"Mayenziwe 'ntando yakho."
"Your will be done on earth, O Lord."

Going mad?

What you do with what you've got...

"What's the use of two good legs if you only run away
What's the use of the finest voice if you've nothing good to say
What good is strength and muscle if you only push and shove
And what's the use of two good ears if you can't hear those you love"

Songs mean various things at various points in your life. It's amazing how you can take new things from them each time you listen depending on where you're at in your life...

"It's not what you're born with
It's what you choose to bear
It's not how big your share is
It's how much you can share
It's not the fights you dreamed of
It's those you really fought
It's not what you're given
It's what you do with what you've go"

Eddi Reader - What you do with what you've got