'Once I was a stranger...'

"Once I was a stranger to the sky

I'd look up from the ground

and block my eyes

Like black smoke in thin air

Tried to be content with what was mine

But my heart was aching all the time

And the scars are still there

And hey, every angel has its time

And hey, I'll write when I arrive

Hey, I've come to claim what's mine

In an elevator to the stars

take a long hard look at who you are

If you're unfamiliar

'Cause one day comes

when you must face yourself

Such a waste pretending someone else

Can still fulfill you

And hey, every angel has its time

And hey, I'll write when I arrive

Hey, I've come to claim what's mine

If your motivation's just to win

That's a handsome trap you're standing in

And its jaws can break you

I would never claim I've seen the light

But I heard the truest song tonight

Whose tune can change you

And hey, every angel has its time

And hey, I'll write when I arrive

Hey, I've come to claim what's mine

I've come to claim what's mine

I've come to claim what's mine

I've come to claim what's mine

Once I was a stranger to the sky

I'd look up from the ground

and block my eyes

Like black smoke in thin air"

Every Angel - The Push Stars

Do you ever think that there's a day when suddenly you aren't a stranger? To the sky, to the world, to people, to a place, to work, to nature, to conversation, to God, to yourself. This last two weeks have been a test of that. How much of a stranger am I to all of these things? "Once I was a stranger to the sky"
 

Our volunteers (vollies) arrived on Tuesday 9th and then our Work Week guests arrived on Saturday 13th. After spending all of staff training with just the 20 or so residents, this was an overload of people. 25 extra staff members and 22 extra guests joined us to live and work in community, so within a week we had over tripled in numbers and suddenly we, as residents, had become the minority. Odd feeling. "Cause one day comes when you must face yourself" This sudden amount of people made me face myself. This may make no sense to begin with, but I shall try to explain how... When you have to work 12/13 hours a day to get the work done that needs done; to cover days off, to organise and oversea the work week jobs being done, to look after 4 vollies in a kitchen you aren't familiar with, to open two centres for guests, to go to services, to do the orders, to go to meals, to build community and get to know those around you; you have to learn to take time to yourself wherever and whenever you can. In your office (until the phone rings or someone comes in), in your room, in services, in your home space (shared with 6 others), in the small time gaps you have to go walking... What do you do with these times to use them to best suit you and your needs? "Tried to be content with what was mine"

I found this challenge tough, but I found it useful. The hardest thing about all of this for me was that time with friends was less than normal and less than I would have liked. My friends here are amazing and I wouldn't have them any other way, so not getting much time with them has been very strange for me. But I've also realised that if I want to appreciate them and have the best relationship I can with them, then I need to have space for myself also or I will be tired, worn out and probably not the best company. A hard lesson to learn, but one that is invaluable. "Every angel has its time... I've come to claim what's mine" My friends are my angels, but I have to claim my own time too. This is a lot easier when those angels are always there and when they realise that you need your time and help you to keep to that. My time with them is more treasured this way, and treasured is how I like it. "I would never claim I've seen the light, but I heard the truest song tonight, whose tune can change you"